


Erwin's Child

by niclem



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety Attacks, Attempted Kidnapping, Attempted Murder, Childbirth, Dark Past, Depression, F/M, Family Issues, Family Loss, Family Secrets, Father Figures, First Love, Flashbacks, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Good Friend Erwin Smith, Levi & Erwin Smith Are Best Friends, Loss of Parent(s), Loss of Trust, Lost Love, Memory Loss, Past, Past Abuse, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Past Child Abuse, Past Relationship(s), Past Torture, Past Violence, Sad and Happy, Sad with a Happy Ending, Secret Relationship, Secrets, Single Parents, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Slow To Update
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-14 10:27:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28919061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/niclem/pseuds/niclem
Summary: What happens when one of your closest friends is slowly falling in love with your best friend?
Relationships: Levi Ackerman & Reader, Levi/Reader
Kudos: 12





	1. new start . 01

**Author's Note:**

> Please note that my English isn't the best, so please excuse the poor grammar and not as creative words. Before you start asking, yes. This is a Levi x Reader. The first part of the story is mostly their backstory, then it slowly goes into where they meet Levi, as well as learning more about their past.

_Screaming, blood, broken glasses, bottles of wine, smoke, boiling water, and laughter. You could sense their amusement when you started to shed a tear. No matter how much you try, nothing is going to change._

_Your eyes start to get watery by the burning steam that is creeping into the cell. The laughter and screaming started to get quiet, your throat clogged up with the smoke, your skin felt that it was on fire. Everything around you was closing into darkness._

_One of the men around you grabs your hair before tugging you away from the bed and shoves you into your room- or cell what most call it around here._

The cold wind blows throughout the night as you sit next to your horse while it nibbles at grass here and there. The night creatures started to pop out around the two of you. Your eyes trickled as you watched the small glow bugs fly around the sky, the buzzing sounds of them flying.

You felt at peace.

A small smile crept up your chapped lips. Not drinking water before running away was possibly your worst idea so far as of right now.

Packing your stuff as quickly as you could, hoping not to get captured once again.

It would mark your 10th time trying to achieve getting out of that hell. But the relief that you felt as you look back at your home village getting smaller and smaller was the best feeling you felt in forever.

You looked back at your wounded leg before tithing the badge tider. Attempting to stand up again, your horse could feel you moving around, understanding what's going on. He stops eating and helps you at getting up. Letting out a little laughed, you thanked him softly before packing up your things.

Knowing that they're looking for you is the only reason that is keeping you from falling asleep. So you keep moving without much rest.

"Alright big guy... Let's keep moving forward."

Night after night after night you kept walking, riding, resting, eating, short sleep until you finally felt safe. Realizing that no matter who low food you're on, how many cuts you have, there's no going back.

Today you were on top of your horse, from the horizon, a huge forest was close by. Not even knowing even an inch of the world that you live in, you could feel fear rising. The trees that you thought were small start to grow bigger to the point where you could even tell if they even ended. Thoughts of falling from those heights keep crashing to you, your hands shake as you tighten your grip on the ropes of your horse. 

The wilderness around you feels like it's closing in on you. Even your horses can feel something is off from the place you were in. Trying to shake the feeling away you made him go faster.

Not much help. He didn't move.

Getting angry you stopped him and got off and walked in front of him. "Is there something up boy?" It's hard to stay mad at him. Sighing, you pinched your nose before hugging him. Your hands pat his head softly and you kept saying sorry to him over and over again until you felt that you and he made up. He nibbles on your head, his sign of letting you know that he loves you. "Yes, I know but please stop before you eat my hair."

You felt much calmer than you were before.

Finally having your thoughts together you glanced around the area you were in. After 8 years of not leaving your village, it felt nice seeing something more than broken bottles of beer and cigarettes everywhere. "It's more cleaner here than back at home don't you think." You let out an airy chuckle knowing it looked crazy that you're talking to an animal. But it helped you.

"You think those things are real?" Your thoughts drifted off to the moments where your owner would leave his window open, but it was still small enough that you couldn't get out.

Even if it was, what was the point? You had all of these cuts, bruises, and one broken toe. So getting out of here was no use.

People would hang around where the window is and talk about things without worrying about someone hearing them. You would hear people talking about how there was something outside of the village. You couldn't make up what they were saying due to you blacking out a couple of times. What you remember is some big people that walk like drunk people. You're very aware of what that looks like when thinking about your owner.

Your thoughts got caught when you felt a tug from your jackets. You looked back to meet your pet's eyes. It might sound odd, but you felt that his eyes were screaming out that he was scared- no terrified.

The ground to shake.

Losing your balance you grabbed your house hair without thinking. You stare at the gigantic trees that were around the two of you. It felt like they were moving from back to front, you thought they would break and fall.

It stops.

You held your breath, everything was quiet. No birds, your woodpeckers, no buzzing insects, no wind blowing the leaves, nothing. Your horse nuzzles your coat pushing you to his back. Fear took over your body, you couldn't move. Your eyes widen at the creature that was a couple of yards away from the two of you.

The giant monster stomps around as it was looking for something before walking away from you two. A glimpse of your memories from when you were young came back to you. The giants, monsters, beast- no. Titans.

Hastily getting up to your horse, you try your best to be as quiet. Petting your horse to comfort it. Tapping your foot on his side letting it know where to walk away from. You tried your best to avoid the broken tree branches that fell from the ground shaking. The two of you safely moved away before glamping away.

After what just happened, that face-off took never take that face of the titan off of your mind. It was imprinted, scar forever. To think of those stories you heard as a kid, the books you read, the drawings from the caves, were real. But what got you more confused was the part that your village was outside of the forest, how in the hell your village never came crashing into one of those things.

Rumors went around the area saying the person who runs the places is very secure of things around him, changing the subject every time someone says something about the monsters. But of course, you were young, what would you know anything about them? Heck, you didn't even know nobody's faces. You always had a scarf around your eyes once you left the house most of the time.

Slowing down, you tapped your horse right side letting it know to stop running. Not knowing where to go, you make him stop at a smaller tree that was at your right. Your heart felt like it was about to flare out of you.

Opening up your bag you gave snacks to your friend before feeding yourself.

Nothing about the outside world you thought was real or even came close to what you dreamt about. A part of you wanted to go back to your village, but of course, you had this one side. A side you wished you didn't have. The side of your brain sparks horrible ideas that could kill you. One of them being: Just keep going.

Leaving the place you grew up, not even thinking what lies ahead, just grabbing anything you had in the house and jumping on the closest horse you had before racing away from your hellish household. It's now or nothing at this point. Going back is like asking for a death wish. A death that your hostage subsisted to do to you later that day. 

Sliding down the tree you brought your legs close to you before breaking into tears. Your horse walks to you and lays his head on top of your head. You let out a chuckle before hugging him.

"Excuse me?"

You blinked a few times before being blind from a blinding light. You moved your head away from the light before being met by an older man. Fear took over you. You started to back away while grabbing a before close to you before running to him and hit and cried out at the man.

"What the heck kid?! I just came to see if you weren't dead-?!"

You halted, taking a closer look at the man. He isn't from your village. Still startled, you hide behind your horse. "What do you need, if it's money I don't have any..."

Confusion filled his eyes as he looked at you. "But excuse me kid aren't you too young to even have a job? Kids don't start working until 13 of age around her- wait. Why are you outside of the walls?!"

_Walls?_

The man probably already knows that you aren't going to keep talking to him, he backs up a couple of feet away from you before trying to talk to you again. "I'm not going to hurt you... I was just worried. I never met anyone who doesn't live inside the walls. Did you get out of the walls by any chance?" 

"Sir, we all do respect, but as you can see by the clothing that I'm wearing. Does it look like I've been living a normal life?" Starting to get annoyed you hopped on to your horse again before riding away.

"Kid, it's not safe going out into the dark, there're titans around!"

You stopped. "Look, I'm not even going to ask how on earth you didn't get eaten. Just come with me, you don't have to go get off your horse. I-I just can't leave a kid out here?!" You glanced back at him glaring. "As I said, you don't have to get off of it- just come inside the walls and we will work something out."

You turned your horse around and faced him, showing still no emotion. "Why?" He looks unsure. "You just meet me, in the woods, alone, little you could know I'm just being used as a trap. I could be older than what I look like. You could be the same. What's stopping you from thinking of that? You can't trust anyone in this world. It's you and yourself alone." The man lets out a 'tch' before walking away from you.

"You are smarter than you seem kid. But I'm just telling you this." He grabs something out of his pocket before putting it in his mouth. A cigarette.

"You're young, you're at the age where you need to find someone that you can trust, listen to you, help you, teach you, and guide you on the right path in life. Losing people is one thing at a young age, but already at a point where you can't even trust anyone? On the inside, you'll become the thing that no one can fix." He looks at you dead in the eye. A shiver runs up your spine. He blows out a puff of smoke towards you before looking away. "Who hurt you?"

Getting caught off guard at what he said you shed a tear. "People. That's what hurt me." You said before cleaning your tears away. "I've been hurt from day one. I guess I can't be fixed now, can I?"

The man let out a small smile before coming closer to you. You tap your horse telling him to move away, but it didn't. He puts his hand on top of his head, petting it. "I guess I was too late to save you... But it's never too late to at least try right?" He grabs a part of the rope that was tied to your horse. "This is the last chance I'm saying this. Will you come with me?"

Still knowing that you can't go back to your birthplace you went along with him.

Walking out of the woods you were greeted by the stars up high up. It was breathtaking, just watching millions of stars. The night sky was mix with the colors of dark purple, light purple, pink and other colors you didn't know of.

Already losing track of how many times you shed tears. Tears were going down your cheeks again. This time you cried in silence because you weren't alone.

The man looks behind him, looking at you with a smile on his face. He started to hum a song to himself and took both of you farther and farther away from where you came from.

Crying the whole night to yourself, the sunrise agreed at you as you started to stop yourself from crying even more. You looked at the man who still had had the stick thing in his mouth. Looking around you saw something on the horizon. Something big. Bigger than the titan you saw before.

"Is that the wall you're talking about sir?"

"Ah, you're finally speaking to me." He laughs. "I think you're right, man how I wished I had you young kids' eyesight." He stops the horse before grabbing a bottle of water. "Man I've been walking for a day now-"

"You could have ridden with me, there is enough space for the both of us." Caught off guard by what you said he starts laughing. It was loud.

A small blush crept on your cheeks before getting off of your friend. "Just get on!" You yelled and whacked the man. Still laughing the man gets up on the horse grabbing your hand he pulls you up and sits you on top of the horse as well. "Do I keep moving forward sir?"

He nodded and pats your head. "Just call me Hinode."

The walls were getting bigger and bigger until the three of you finally made it to them. He tells you to make the horses stop before getting off of him. "Now just leave the rest to me." You slowly nodded, he grabbed again the rope he had before and walked to the gate.

"Ay, if it isn't Hinode? Didn't you say you were going to leave for a few weeks because of something? I can't keep making excuses as to why you aren't here. Why back so soon?" You looked at the person who was talking. What bright red hair you thought. "Who's this? I don't remember you taking a kid?"

"It's a long story, do you know where Mrs. Yama is? I would like his help."

The man nodded before pointing at a building upfront. "He's with that boy again. Not sure what he's teaching the fellow this time, maybe something about math or something." Both of them laugh leaving you there more confused than ever.

"Who's Mrs. Yama?" You asked.

"He is a friend of mine, the boy he's with is very nice. I think you both would get along if he likes kids that is. Since you guys aren't the same age, let's just hope you two can at least be somewhat friends." His words made you feel calm inside.

He ties your horse on a fence before helping you down. "Mrs. Yama, I'm back!"

You hide behind him as the big wooden door opens. Not wanting to speak to anyone else you looked around the area. People sing, kids, playing around, people cooking food, it was completely different from where you came from. Just something about it scares you. They just seemed too happy. Everything didn't seem gloomy.

Your eyes met this one kid. He smiles at you before he jogged to you, not sure what to do, you just held onto Hinode's long coat.

"My mother makes the best banana bread ever here! She made a little bit too much so she is asking me to give some to the kids around here!" Before saying anything he gives you a basket of bread and runs back to his mother. You looked up as she waved at you before giving her kid another basket of bread.

Not sure what to do, you look back to Hinode who just finished talking to Mrs. Yama.

"Where did you get that?" Before even answering some other voice interrupted you.

"So this is the child I'm hearing about?" Still not sure what to do, you looked back to Hinode for help.

"They're shy. I was wondering if you keep an eye on them. You already know what I'm about to do."

"You're not staying with me?" Fear was in your voice. Both of the men were shocked at what you said. Hinode sighs as he goes on his knees before putting his hand on your shoulder.

"As I said in the woods, kids your age need someone to trust with. You trust me right?" Not sure what to think. You nodded. "Good, and I trust you too! Mrs. Yama is a very nice guy, and the boy he's with is very smart. They will take good care of you until I get back, I already promised myself I won't leave you, and when I make a promise to myself or anyone. I keep my promise." A little tear runs down your face. You sniff before saying 'yes' to him. He gets off of his knee and looks back at Mrs. Yama. "I'll be gone for a few days, just get her calm, clean up, give her food, and somewhere for her little friend." Mrs. Yama nodded at him before walking to you.

"Hello, there child, what's your name? I'm guessing he never asked you did he?" Hinode giggles before saying sorry.

"6792..." You said.

Their faces darken.

"Did you know she was...?" Hinode shook his head. "We will ask you more questions later, Hinode has to go now."

Unsure about leaving now after what he heard, Hinode nodded before leaving. Mrs. Yama grabs your small hands before walking you to the door.

The door made a small squeaking sound before finally being open wide. You looked around inside, you saw the desks around and a huge green board. You look to your left to see a boy looking out the window. He was lost in thought.

"Erwin? What did I tell you about eavesdropping? Come on, you're older than this." Startled at the sudden voice, the boy's ears turn red about looking at you. "I still have some work to do before going to the house. Can you look after them?"

He nodded at him before leaving you to him. You glanced back at Erwin. He gave you a small smile. "So I guess you don't talk much do you?" You played with your hair avoiding his question. 

He scratches behind his ear, it was probably the first time talking to someone this young.

His arms start to move without him knowing.

_Poke._

Looking with disgust, you pushed his hand away from you. "That was nice, eyebrows."

He chuckles at your comment. "Wow, it's been a while since i heard that nickname. Just think of me as your friend, I think. Hinode is close to the teacher over there, whoever is close to Hinode is a friend of mine." He smiles at you.

Something about him just gives you bad vibes. You just agreed with what he said, not really in the mood to even have a small talk with him. "I have some bread if you want some…"

Looking surprised, he chuckles and grabs a bread before breaking into twos. He holds the bread to your mouth. You open your mouth open and raised an eyebrow at him.

He places the bread into your mouth. "I know we're getting along..."


	2. birthdays

_ "Hey, kid come over here!" Flinching at his words you glands up to and greet his demonic gazes. Looking back at the kid that you were talking with. They smiled at him, of course, he smiled back. "What are you waiting for?" He grabs your hand, but the moment he touches it, his nails begin to dig deep into your already wounded hand. "Oh my goodness, why is your hand cover with blood?!"  _

_ Some eyes looked at you with disgust, others looked at your owner with sympathy. Why would anyone listen to you? It's secret after secret in this village.  _

_ You were dragged from the room before being thrown into a cart. The man looks down at you, "You better not said anything to that kid back there. You know about the consequences that can happen back at home."  _

_ You wouldn't hear. _

_ Why? _

_ Your head was bleeding of course. You were knocked out. _

_ The man let out a frustrated sigh, he yanks a sheet that was next to you and covered you for no one could see what he did to you.  _

Waking up on clean sheets is something you could probably get used to pretty quickly. But it didn't seem that your body didn't like it, you always found yourself still sleeping on the cold floor the next morning. No matter how many times Hinode puts you back to bed, you always end up on the floor. 

Knowing about this, he would stay in your room for a while to see if you will get off of it. That's when he found out. You sleepwalk. Which would explain the reason why you would always get beaten back at your owner's house. 

Which you didn't tell him. 

At first, the two of you didn't mind it but it started to become a problem when winter came. 

The place you came from was well known for having some of the biggest snowstorms you can even imagine. You would always tell stories about your life, leaving a few details here and there out, to Hinode whenever it snowed. 

Sometimes you would shock the neighbors who will meet you on those cold days and will notice how little or no clothing you have on. There would occur where you would be offered over 10 types of clothing. Jackets, scarves, shirts, hats, anything. 

Because of that, people around the area you lived in would have given the nickname, snow. You didn't like it, it made you cringe whenever someone said it. The doctor that took you would make fun of you from time to time. It only happens when they call you by that. 

It didn't take long for you to Hinode to take you around the town. He would usually do it on the night though. Those were the times where he had the most free time. It will be in those days where he would take you to stargaze. 

It would worry Hinode about how late be would when he made you go out with him. But you didn't mind, you told him that you were always up. Which he told you it wasn't normal for someone to stay up for so long in my age.

That's when you found out about something called time. Everything felt like a non-ending loop of, fear, crying, screaming, scrapes, and punches. But you didn't tell him that, just that they never taught you guys about time. 

Which was true, they didn't. 

Speaking of learning. Not even a day after coming here Hinode has told the doctor, who you later found out his name is Liam. If he could be your teacher, he said that the doctor was a teacher back then. 

So whenever he could, he would teach you around late afternoon. He told you the times when he isn't teaching you, you could use those times to go and be by yourself before then. 

Those times being today. 

Laying down on the grass you would stay there for hours at end. Sometimes forgetting to even blink, which would scare the people around you from time to time. It was funny to Erwin and Hinode. 

When coming here, Erwin could already tell that you didn't like to be in buildings. No matter what kind. You will describe your feeling to him saying that it made you feel alone. Even if people were around you just felt alone. Perhaps you were shy, or you still can't trust anyone. That's one of the reasons why you stay out more. 

"Hey, have you eaten yet?" Following the voice where it was coming from. You saw the doctor carrying a basket of colorful fruits and bread. Banana to be said. "I was guessing you didn't like Erwin's cooking. So I thought to pay a visit to my mother's place to see if she can cook up some food for you." He sat next to you putting the basket of food next to you. 

You wait a few minutes before he holds your hand telling you that you can eat, you don't have to wait or have anyone tell you that you could eat.

Eating food. That's something you have the most trouble getting used to. 

Back when you first got here and when Hinode left and you got to go to where the doctor is living. That is where he notices you haven't eaten a proper meal for close to a month. It was a miracle to see that you were still alive.

After finishing the food, he would tell you to lay down and make you drink some purple fluid. He called it medicine.

That night you ended up waking him up at the sounds of you throwing up on the floor. Helping you to the bathroom, he grabs a needle and puts it in your arm. It didn't take long for you to feel somewhat better but still felt nauseous. As he brings you to the front door he would be telling you that there was an infection in your body. 

Scared at what he said, he cares for your horse before going back into his house grabbing a bag and blanket. Hopping on, he would guide the horse to the building you first met him. 

He told you to go inside before running somewhere else. Not sure what to think you just listened and kissed your horse goodbye before going inside. 

You laid on the cold floor with the blanket crying to yourself when you started to feel dizzy. Your whole body started to shake and cold beads of sweat were started to form on your forehead. That's when you started to cough up blood.

"Kid?!" 

Looking up, you were greeted by Erwin that you met before. He carried you somewhere before you blacked out. 

Later on, you found yourself on a bed. You heard beeping and soft talking around you. Getting up from the bed you were met by a heavy hit of pain in your stomach. Falling to the floor you felt someone's hand grabbing you.

"How are you feeling, kid? The doctor says that you ended up having a fever after finding out you had something going on in your body. Which probably was caused by you eating something that you couldn't have eaten, or, what we're not hoping, being physically abused."

A small flashback came back to you. Before leaving your village your owner was forcing pills down your month, choking you as doing so. 

Looking back, you could have easily died if you just hold up the pain. Which you could, you're just used to the pain. 

Finishing up your meal, you gave the basket back to the doctor. "Oh, before I leave I wanted to ask you something if you don't mind." Nodding, you lay back on the grass. "So after all of the stuff you told us, you had a hard life huh?" You glared at him. Not the best time to talk about those things. "I'm sorry just trying to get some jokes here. I don't want you to think that I'm boring."

You didn't say anything. 

"Why is it so hard to talk to kids these days." He talks to himself. "Anyways, ahem, Erwin told me that you were 8 if I'm not wrong. So you don't know when your birthday is- oh, right you don't know what that is..." He gets on his back and he looks up at the clouds. "Alright, I guess we can have a small teaching section. Every once a year, or 365 days to make it easier for you to understand, we have this thing called a birthday. It's just something to let everyone know when you were born. By knowing the day you were born, the month, and the year, we can use it to see how old you are. Which would explain to you not how old you are." 

"Then why have birthdays?" You asked. "It seems too much work." 

"Yes, but birthdays are also very special to the person. It tells you that you hit a milestone, sometimes it can tell you if you can do stuff that younger people can't do. Birthdays can also be one of your biggest enemies as well."

You looked at him like he was crazy. "How can a number hurt you?" 

Smiling, he lifts his hand and starts to poke your cheeks. You pushed it away. "It can tell you that you're running out of time. That's a way a number can hurt you. Humans reach a point where they can't live any longer." 

"Do we know how many numbers we have felt before time is up for us?" 

Sighing, he shakes his hands. "Oh, how much I want to know that, but if you think about it, maybe it's for the best."

"What do you mean, I would be worried if I didn't know how many days I have left. I don't think I want a birthday. It seems scary." You said as you start playing with the bugs around you. "They should just give you how many numbers you have left…" 

"I think it's a nice feeling to not know everything. Well, no one can't agree with me but thinking about it, I would love to have some unknown things in my existence in this world." 

You are not being convinced by this. 

"Just know I don't agree with you." You sighed thinking about having a birthday. Knowing that number is a sign of knowing that you're walking closer to the end. Maybe it's best to know when so you can plan all of the things you want to do. 

"If you don't want to have a birthday it's fine, you would be surprised to find out how many people, grown-ups, kids, babies, and teens that don't know when their birthdays are." He noted. "So don't feel like you need one, I was just saying." Getting up, he cleans off the grass that was left on his pants before grabbing the baskets. "If you ever change your mind then you know where to find okay kiddo?"

There was something that was bothering you by what he said. "W-Wait, L-Liam! What do you mean even grown-up? Babies?" 

Without a warning, a strong wind suddenly blows towards your way. The leaves, grass, and flower petals flew around the two of you. Your eyes spark as you follow the pink and white petals. Liam looks at you smiling before lowering his hat and leaves. 

It didn't take you long until you realized that he was gone. You didn't get to ask him your question, but for some reason, you didn't mind it. His words still linger in your mind, breathing you finally got up and started to walk to where Erwin was staying. 

_ '... I would love to have some unknown things in my existence in this world.' _

Me too. 

-

"Erwin!" You called out. He looks up, his faces cover with dirt, peace of grass here and there, some plant seeds on his cheeks. Couldn't help to chuckle when you start to clean his face with your clothing. "You look stupid right now. So, helping Hinode with the garden I see?" 

He rolls his eyes before throwing you a napkin from his pocket telling you to clean your hands. "Yeah, he won't be here for a while so I just wanted to make sure that his house doesn't become a wreck due to him not even taking care of himself nor the house he lives in." He goes back on planting the seeds. "Hinode. The guy I wasn't even sure why he even took you in, not trying to sound rude, it just was all of sudden you know?"

You shrug your shoulder, not knowing what to think. 

He continues, "You're a good kid, not saying that he should have left you. Just saying that Hinode was a very quiet kind of a man. It took a brave soul to even think about even talking to him. Maybe that's why he started to build a house far from the buildings and roads. Too much for him, I guess." 

"Do you think there was thought where he was questioning himself why he took me in?" You asked. "When he first met me he was just trying to ask why I'm even in the forest, I mean who wouldn't wonder why an 8-year-old kid was there so late into the night. But later he started to change the subject and tried to convince me to go with him. It almost failed." 

He tilts his head in confusion. "You never told me this part, so you're saying there was a chance of you not even being here in the first place." Hearing that come from him, it hurts you know that there was a chance of dying because of your sickness. "What made him convince you to go with him." He asked. 

He stood up and walked to Hinode's doorstep and sat down, you followed him. "It was his words I'm guessing." 

"His words?" He questioned. Laughing a little bit. "What did he say that he would give you a lifetime supply of meat?"

You snicker at his words. "I wish that was the case, but no. He was telling me that kids my age are at the age where they need someone to be there. What if I don't get that kind of help then, I'll be broken and it would be hard to be fixed. From where I come from, trusting someone was the last thing someone did, so I just grew up thinking that." 

"So did he tell you that he will still be able to help you before it's too late?" He questioned. 

"No, he said even if it was too late, that didn't mean he couldn't try, that's where I think I finally gave in and went with him. Of course, I didn't get off of my horse." Looking at the sky as you sighed. "I guess I was lucky?" You turn to him. "So now I'm here." 

"You're so much like him..." He whispered. 

"Who?" 

Shaking his head he said it was nothing. "A-Anyways, I saw you were with Liam. Let me guess he cooked you something didn't he. You could have just said my cooking wasn't the best, it's not that hard you know." 

You told him it was fine, you're just happy to even get food. So you don't care what kind of food you got, you're just grateful.

"What were the two of you talking about?" He asks. 

"Uhhh, it was called birthdays? Do you know about it?" 

He laughs. "That a weird question to ask but,uhhh, yeah I know about them. But why were the two of you even talking about it." 

You played with your hair trying to fix it as you told Erwin what you and Liam were talking about. You got a few of your questions answered that you were wondering about that you didn't get to ask about when you were talking to Liam. 

You asked him the same question, does he want to know when his time is up. He said that he agrees with you. That's something different than what Liam said of not wanting to know.

"I'm like that too, I'm not sure why, but I feel like knowing would help to be honest." You swing your legs on the edge. 

He hums at you before grabbing a piece of your hair. You looked at him with disgust, he should have cleaned his hands first. 

"We should get your haircut, it's getting a little bit longer." You looked at your hair, it was long. 

"Where I come from, we never cut our hair. They said it was a gift from the angels. It's a sign of innocence. That's why men and women also wear a dress. Men have long dresses, while the females have short dresses. I only cut my hair with a knife that I had on me because it was just getting in the way. I guess my hair grows fast."

"Well, this isn't your village. You live in a new place. I'm not confident to say that it would be easy for you to forget what you've been through. We are not forcing you to forget, but we would love for you to have a new life. Think of it as like a rebirth." 

You mouthed the word, Rebirth. You liked the way it rolled off your tongue. 

"Last night when you're sleeping, we are talking about how you can give a new life, that would slowly eat your old life. You've entered a new chapter of your life, so whatever you didn't do back there you can finally do here. The rebirth of your new life." 

You smile to yourself thinking about it. It will take a while but you hope you can eventually grow out of the old life to your new life. A new life where you don't have to fear waking up with boiling water hitting your face. A new life that doesn't have you wake up screaming. A new life where you didn't have to worry about eating scraps of food leftover from a guest who comes over. 

Your hair fell as the wind started to pick up once again. A faint tear could be seen even if your hair hides it from Erwin. Sniffling your nose you looked at Erwin. He was leaning on the door. "Look who looks stupid now?"

You rolled your eyes at him. That was your line.

"Could you uhh, " You started to fiddle with your fingers as you could the heat rising to your cheeks. "Maybe help me find uhh- could you uh..." 

Erwin just nods at you, already knowing what you were going to say. "I'll help with anything that you need. I'm guessing you finally want a birthday? What happened about it being scary? Weren't you the one complaint about how too much work it was? Did you say- ow! What the heck?! You know for a kid your size you can hit pretty hard…" 

The heat of your cheeks grew as he made those comments to you. "S-Shut up! Aren't you going to help me or what?!" 

"Alright, alright." He groans and walks to the edge of the porch. He got down to his knees, to which now his back was facing you. "But why don't we ask Liam if they? Wasn't he the one to give you a birthday?" Remembering that it was Liam's idea to give a birthday, it would be smart to have him give it to you.

You raise an eyebrow at him. "W-What are you doing? I'm not getting on your back!" You shout at him. "I know that I'm kind but still… those are for babies." 

"This way we can get there faster!" He shouts back. "With those legs of you, you won't even be able to close to my speed, you'll get lost, and I won't be going back for you!" 

You stood there looking away from him for a moment before running and hopping on his back, he loses his balance a little. He glares at you as you stuck your tongue out to him.

"You're going to be the end of me one of these days…" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for any spelling or grammar errors.


	3. your name

**_"You brat!" Someone yells at you._ **

**_Since your right arm was broken you used your left arm, you started to clean yourself up from the hot water that was thrown at you not too long ago._ **

**_"Stupid… I was so close to getting that money but no, you needed to brat and dropped those plates. I don't even want you anymore! Why couldn't he keep you?!" He grabs a glass cup before pouring beer into it. "All I'm asking for you to behave, but the only thing I'm getting is a fucking headace!" He gulps the drink down._ **

**_You raised your head to look at him, he was a mess. His hair was greasy, had grass and leaves on it, and had a few cuts here and there on his face._ **

**_You walked to where you stayed in his place before covering yourself with the only blanket you have._ **

The light rain gazed at your face as you opened your window allowing the early daylight feeling to feel you up. One thing that you noticed that you love is waking up to rain, just watching the small water droplets run down your face as you let your thoughts play around. You would stay at your window for who knows how long, usually someone has to tap your shoulder to let you know that you had to go down for breakfast. Today was one of those days. 

Too into the sound of the rain, you didn't hear Erwin opening the door. The man raised his eyebrows at you, questioning what you're doing, he watched you as you tried to grab a handful of rainwater to drink. Knocking on your doorway, you finally turned around, forgetting that you had water on your hand. 

The water fell to the wooden dark floor. Not having anything on your feet, you jumped when you felt the color water hit your skin. Erwin quickly walked up to you and started to wipe the water that fell from your hands. 

"I'm sorry I didn't think you were that into it. I just thought you were ignoring me- like you do most of the time. I didn't mean to scare you." He said. "I just wanted to see if you were up, Liam has made food for the two of you." 

You walked to your bed and got your slippers. "I've been up for quite a while, I was going down soon." 

"Sure you were." He rolls his eyes at you. This always happens to you when it rains, I should have come up from the window." 

You tilted your head. "Wouldn't it scare me more though?" You asked. "I would probably hit you." 

He shrugs his shoulders, he gets up from the floor and through the wet dirty napkin. "I don't think you could with those little arms of yours." 

Even sitting down, you still looked small next to him, which gets you made from time to time. Liam said it was because you didn't eat that much when growing up. 

He pats your head as you glare at him. "I'm not that small! Just you wait until I grow up! I'll beat that smirk from your face!" 

Now laughing even more Erwin just waves at you to go to the kitchen where Liam is making food for you. Before leaving, you made sure to kick Erwin's ankle as you ran to where the kitchen was. 

When entering you were met with different kinds of smells that you quickly forgot why you were mad in the first place. Taking out the step stool from under the sink you placed it next to Liam as he made curry. 

Finally looking at you he smiles out and says good morning before cooking again. "Hey kid, why don't you help me out?" He reaches to where the forks and spoons were and took a small knife from it and handed it to you. 

You grabbed it and just stared at it. He lets out a little chuckle before pointing at the unpopped carrots and potatoes. Finally getting what he was talking about you got off of the stepping stool and walked yourself where they were. 

"Hey Liam, is the library open today? I heard that the library was closed today." Called out Erwin as he entered the room. 

You looked at him at the corner of your eye. You followed him as he walked to Liam and started to eat the curry from him. He gets hit by him of course. 

Liam sighed. "You never changed do you, Erwin?" Erwin laughs. "Anyways to answer your question, yes. I heard they will be open until late afternoon, but knowing the owner he would close earlier than that. So whatever you're going to be doing over there you should do it quickly."

Nodding at him he grabs the dishes next to him and sets them on the table. "I was going over there to see if we could finally get the kiddo a name already." 

Finally done cutting the vegetables you cleaned up your hands and walked over to Liam. "I mean if you want to, alright. I just don't see why I need a new name, like I said before I already have one." 

Cringing at your words both men looked at each other and just sighed. Not understanding why though, you just let it go and thought it was just grown-up things. You grabbed a bowl that Liam gave you and put the vegetables into it before giving them to him. 

"You see uhh kiddo your name is something someone needs around here." Said Liam. You watched him as he put the veggies into the hot curry bowl. "If something bad happens to you then we can give people around your name so then when they hear your name around they would probably think it's you." 

"But also it's much easier to find you whenever we need you." Added Erwin. 

Looking at them with confusion, you just nodded at what they said. "It's still too troublesome." 

Finally sitting down, Liam pores curry on your plate and hands you a spoon, some go for Erwin and his place as well. The three of you talked about somethings that were going on, pretty much random stuff. Sometimes the conversation would take a turn where you wouldn't understand what they were talking about. But you didn't mind, like what Liam said before, maybe it's the best not to know. 

Finish the curry. You cleaned up your area and waited for Erwin and Liam to finish. 

"You don't have to wait for us kid, you know where the library is at right?" You nodded.

Erwins takes another bite from the curry before looking at you. "You could just go over there and read some books. I am still busy talking to Liam here. I'll meet you there when I'm done alright?" 

Saying alright you went to the doorway and put on your water boots and headed out to the library.

-

It didn't take too long for you to get distracted. 

You meet an old lady who was selling oranges next to her stall and another old lady was selling bananas. Both of them started talking to you about their good old times. You didn't mind it of course. Listening to other people's stories made you want to see if you could as well do those things. 

"Oh, you're such a cutie." Said one of the ladies. "I see that you hang around a lot with the doctor over there huh?" She hands you a banana. "Oh, what's his name uhhh." 

"Doctor Yama." Said the other lady. "But some people just call him doctor around this area. I don't think anyone calls him by his last name." 

"Oh didn't he say that he's going somewhere?" Said one of the other ladies. "We should probably tell him to get us something." 

Both of them laughed at what she said. You quietly laughed at their words before saying goodbye to them. 

You made it where you were supposed to be but, of course, you got to carry away with things. Talking to kids your age, getting some free food, and talking to some parents. 

You opened the heavy wooden door and walked inside. You walked to the front and asked if you could get a pass to where the older books were at. The old man looks down at you, squinting his eyes at you, before smiling at you. He grew a soft spot for you what Liam has stated. 

"Here you go little lady, you're the only person who asks to even go over there. It's nice to see kids these days who want to learn more things around them than just waste their time by doing stupid kids' things." You laughed with him before waving him goodbye. 

You could still hear the rain hit the window of the old building. Every time you came here was when it was raining. Just sitting at the closest window and washing the rainfall as you tried to teach yourself how to read and write whenever Hinode was out of the walls.

Looking around your eyes, see one book under the bookshelf. You walked over there and thought to give it to the old man thinking someone had just placed it there because they were too lazy to put it where it was before. When grabbing the book you notice how old it was, dust was on every page, pages falling out, and words fading away. 

You coughed as the dust was going everywhere as you tried your best to clean it the best you could. Finally getting it done you walked to where you were going to the first place and sat down at the far end table where a big widow was at. 

Sitting down you flip through the pages and saw pictures of some young kids eating something as they were getting yelled at. You looked over at the next page where it showed somebody building some tall people with sand. Looking closer at the photo it reminds you what Erwin and Hinode were talking about to you the second day you got into the walls. 

"Titans?" You whispered to yourself. 

The more you turn the page the more of a little girl who was building the tall people was showing up. Trying your best to read what little bit words were left, you just sighed before just putting it back to where you found it. But the more you walked away from it, then you kept thinking about it. 

"Kid?" Jumping at the sudden voice. You looked behind you and saw Erwin walking to you as he waved at you. "Sorry for the long wait. I was just making sure that I and Liam were on the same page." 

You nodded still scared at the unexpected voice. 'Did he see what I was reading?' You thought to yourself. Shaking the feeling away from you, you and Erwin walked to another part of the library where there were books about fantasy. 

"I'm not sure if this place would help you find a name for yourself but if you find one call me and I'll see if it's a name." He said to you. "I'll be over here, " He points to the area where you found the book from earlier. You felt your heart sink but you didn't say a thing about it. "I just need to make sure that I was right about something." 

You said yes to him before going to the fantasy books. Opening up one of the books you saw pictures of mystical animals and strange humans. 

-

Time has passed by and you're already at your 39th book today. Erwin came to you once or twice to see if you found a name yet. There were names you thought were okay to you but it would get Erwin off guard sometimes, he forgets that you don't know some of these words or names. 

Ruffling your hair you hit your head at the side of the table. "When am I going to find a good name, Erwin should just let me name myself Encyclopedia. At least it's a name." 

"I can hear you, you know that right?" Erwin said as he walked to you. 

"I don't care." You rolled your eyes at him. "I still don't think names are even necessary. Why can't you pick me a name for me?" You asked him. "You're the one who's making this into a big deal." 

Erwin pinches the bridge of his nose. "Are all kids your age this hard to deal with?" You shrug at him. "T-That was a joke... Anyways what's the point for me to give you a name. Little you could know I could have given you the name of Encyclopedia." 

"I wouldn't mind being honest. It would be easier and we won't even be here anymore." Sighing again you sat down before grabbing another book and tried to find a name.

Erwin sat down next to you before opening another book as well. "Fine I'll help you but I'm still hoping you pick your name, alright young lady?" 

"Whatever." 

You didn't mind having Erwin helping you, half of you was hoping he would just give you a name, and then you can go out and play in the rain. From what you can hear it seems the rain is starting to come down harder than it was before. That angered you more. 

"What about this one?" You asked him. "It seems like a cute name." 

Erwins looks over at you and looks at the word you were pointing at. Index. 

Erwin hides his face with the book he had. "That's not a name, it's uhh, just know it's not a name. Keep looking I'm sure that we are close to finding -." 

"Erwin this is boring!" You cut him off. "Please I don't want to do this anymore! My eyes hurt, I think I got a paper cut from one of these stupid books." You faced him. "I just want to play outside!" You screamed at him. "This is stupid!" 

He stares at you. 

You covered your mouth. 

You just shouted at him. 

Thinking all of the times you and Erwin hung around. You never yelled at each other. Maybe once or twice but never something like this. The moment those three words left your mouth you knew you messed up. 

Sure you and Erwin aren't the best of friends. Always fighting and all, but that didn't mean that you hated the dude. It's just hard for you to say what you're feeling. 

You washed at Erwin just weakly smiled at you before closing the book he was holding. 

"I-I didn't mean to get you upset." Looking away from you. Not making eye contact with you. "If you don't want a name then it's fine, let's just go by our day alright?" He stood up and walked away from you. "I'll be where the horses are at alright?"

Lost in words you couldn't bring yourself to say anything at him. Just watching him leaving the room. 

The room echoed around as the door closed behind him. You stand there in the quiet room, the only sounds of rain hitting the window. Now you didn't like the rain. Holding back the tears you felt coming you started cleaning up the mess of books you had around. About to grab the book Erwin had you stopped when you noticed a name that stood out. 

(Y/N). <\- (your name) 

You looked closely at the name. You saw a picture next to it. You saw a person there smiling and laughing with another person. Something about the name just made your heart feel heavier. 

In a little flashback come to you. You saw some random women appear smiling at you, tears falling from her face as she cried even more before yelling at the person who held her down. 

You felt someone yelling out (Y/N) to you. Warm tears blurred your vision before falling down your cheeks. You didn't know why but just seeing the woman's face for a split second made you start to cry even more. Breaking into tears you tried to breathe in but got caught off from even more crying. Laying on the floor you kept seeing the picture of the woman but you couldn't see her eyes. 

You saw some tall men's shoving her something down into her mouth before someone got on top of her. She started to scream even more before the man was taking off his shirt. 

Before you could even see what happened next you felt someone shaking you. 

"Kiddo!" Opening your eyes wide you started to scream for help, hitting whatever was around you. "It's me kid you don't have to worry about anything."

Finally getting yourself together you saw the old men for the front holding you tight. He sighs in relief. "It's just me." He holds his face. "You see nothing wrong right? 

He picks you up and sits you down on your chair. Your hands were still shaking as you started to remember what you saw. "I-I... I saw something." You coughed trying to breathe. The man pats your back hugging you as you calm down. It didn't take long though. 

You sat down as the old man cleaned up the mess you made when trying to find your name. 

"You made a big mess didn't you kid?" You said sorry to him before heading to the book Erwin had before. "Uh, this book." He looks at you. You pointed at the person who had the name you found. "Who are they?" 

He fixes his glasses looking closer at the person. He smiles at it. "Oh, that? That's the person who made the little town." 

You looked up shocked at his words. 

"They made this town?" 

"They made this town when they saw that no one was doing anything with pieces of field. It was amazing how they did it, everyone thought it couldn't be done but they did it." He said. He grabbed his glasses and started to clean them up. "After it was done with the help of some people they all of sudden left. Some people don't know why though, some say they got kidnapped but I don't think that was the case." 

Hearing more of the story of the person the more you wanted their name. "Is there name (Y/N)?" You asked. 

"Oh no, their name was Mira, (Y/N) is the name of the kid she had. But something happened to the kid and it passed away. She had them before she left this place. Not sure what happened to the kid." 

-

Waving goodbye to the old man you ran to where Erwin was at. After finding out the name you wanted you couldn't stop thinking about him. The first person you hoped would be the first to hear your name. 

Your heart still aches at the face Erwin had when you shouted at him. You shook your head, knowing that you will make it up. 

"Erwin!" You called out. The large barn door winged opened fasted making a thud sound when it hit the wall. 

Jumping at the sudden loud noise Erwin looked at you before being mean to him with a hug from you. Losing balance the both of you fell to the ground. "Kid?! Hey, be careful you could have killed me!" 

"(Y/N)!" You said smiling when you said it. 

"(Y/N)?" He asked, racing his eyebrow. 

You nodded before jumping off of him, you ran to your horse before looking at Erwin. "I finally found my name! My name is (Y/N)!" 

Taking him a bit to understand what was happening, shake his head. He gets up from the floor cleaning himself up from the hay that was on him. He crossed his arms before looking up at you as you were getting on your horse. 

"So you finally agree to have a name? Sorry for forcing me to have it." He looked away from you.

You got quiet when you remembered what you said before at the library "I'm sorry I know you were simply caring for me." You smiled at the thoughts of what the old men said to you about your name. 

"(Y/N), huh? It got a nice ring to it." He smiles. "See this is why I wanted you to find it. You didn't need my help, good you're useless without me." 

You shake your head. "Nope, you did help." He looks at you confused. "The book you were reading. I found my name there! If you didn't pick that book up I would probably have gotten with the name Encyclopedia." You laughed. 

Your words made him chuckle. "I'm glad I could have helped you, (Y/N)." He said.

(Y/N). What a perfect name for you. 


End file.
